Coke vs. Diet Coke

I used to be a soda whore. I grew up with an allowance of $5 per week in an anti-cola household, so getting a soda the size of my head at the corner 7-11 for 99 cents was the coolest thing ever. My parents loathed soda, so my sisters taught me on the sly. Alicia was all about the Dr. Pepper. Amy would mix Coke, Diet Coke and Lemonade. My personal choice was the greatest sugar bomb of all: Pepsi.

Granted, this was suburban Southern California in the 80's. We didn't know any better. The reason my parents cited for hating cola were the astronomical dentist bills that would surely follow rotting teeth. All we knew was that soda tasted damn good when it was hot out, and when accompanied by generic B-B-Q potato chips, and especially when you just spent 5 straight activity-filled chlorine-soaked hours in the neighbor's swimming pool. I mean, why would you even think about drinking water??

My addiction reached an all-time high in the summer of 1994. I'd just finished my first year at San Francisco State University and was home in So Cal for the summer. I got a job as a florist's delivery driver, which was fun because I was paid to sit behind the wheel of an obnoxiously cold air-conditioned mini-van delivering arrangements to people who weren't expecting them. My ritual: every morning on the way to my first delivery, I'd stop at Del Taco and get a mega extra large of Mr. Pibb. Every afternoon for lunch, I'd stop at Del Taco and get a mega extra large of Mr. Pibb. And I'd leave with a refill to take me through the afternoon. Seriously, I thought there was nothing at all wrong with this behavior.

After a few years in San Francisco, I realized that one of the worst things you can be is a soda addict. You can smoke pot in front of school children, you can be homeless with a rabid pitbull at your side, you can be a corporate-employed yuppie driving your Volvo recklessly to Whole Foods because that's "the only place you want to give your money to", but gawd forbid you order a fountain Pepsi with your lunch.

That is, gawd forbid you order a fountain Pepsi and also be a fat person, because you'll actually get a Diet Pepsi even though you asked for non-diet. I cannot count on one hand how many times this has happened to me over the 12 years I've lived in the Bay Area. After the third time it happened, I decided to poll my friends to see if it ever happened to them. There's only been one occurance in my friend pool, and she's also fat.

That's not at all what made me decide to make the switch to diet. It helped a little, maybe. When you're used to regular soda, nothing is more heinous than a drop of the diet stuff so much as touching your lips. But, I was quite shy during this time in my life, and thus dealing with nasty diet soda was a better option than having to send it back.

Ultimately, it was my sister Alicia being diagnosed with diabetes that sealed the deal. She relayed info from her doctor about how blood sugar works, and the effect just one can of soda can have on it. It took about 2 seconds to figure out that, among other things, I'd have to become Diet Coke Girl or else.

Oddly enough, just the other day a server at a restaurant brought me regular Pepsi when I'd ordered Diet. I drank half for old time's sake and then had to send it back for Diet. After you transition, regular soda is kinda nasty in the same way diet was nasty when you were used to regular.

I'd love to be off the sauce completely. Soda is nasty in lots of ways. It rots your teeth whether the sugar is in it or not, dark cola is hard on your tummy, and I read about there being a connection between carbonation and breast cancer.

Hell, maybe I'm just becoming a tried and true snobby San Franciscan.