Back in 1997 I started working with my first therapist, the lovely and talented Sharilyn Marshall, MFT, concentrating on body image issues. In the nine years that I saw her, she helped me in myriad ways both relating to body image and not. She helped me come alive in my life, truth be told. I wouldn't be who I am today without her.
One thing she gave me that I'll never forget, and that will always be on my shelf no matter how outdated, was a copy of the book Fat!So? Because You Don't Have to Apologize for Your Size. I remember reading it in wonder, thinking that the ideas within were totally ground-breaking. I just took this book off the shelf the other day, as a matter of fact. And you know what? The ideas within are still ground-breaking. Maybe a little bit less so now, 12 years after it's publication, but not that much. Fat people are discriminated against in so many overt ways (duh), and unfortunately that's still the norm for our culture.
Fat!So? is a large part of the reason I say "fat" instead of tending to use other, more common names such as "overweight", "plus size" or "plump". You'll hear me liken fat rights to gay rights in several ways and this is one of them. Just as the gay rights movement took back words like "fag" and "queer", I'm doing my part to take back the word "fat". I got called fat a lot as an insult growing up, a word that would make me inevitably burst into tears and run away to cower. Call me fat now, and I'll just say, "That's right, I'm fat. And...?" It's a descriptor above all else. I am fat.
Back in September 2005, I started this blog to chime in with all the other fat activists and hopefully become one myself. A couple years ago, I realized I just couldn't keep up with the blog in general, much less as a tool for activism, and quite honestly wanting/trying to speak for many, not just for myself, grew tiresome. I changed the title of my blog from "Guide to the Fat Life" to "Guide to (her own) Fat Life". How to make peace with being fat is extremely personal, as is blogging, for starters. And in the end I'm a quiet person who sometimes has big ideas and opinions on (or off) the topic of fat politics... as fantastical as the notion was when I started this blog, I'm just not an activist.
Today I came across Fatshionista. I really like Lesley Kinzel's voice. What she's doing, to me, is true activism. And again, that activism is not something I'm part of (anymore).
29 October 2010
08 October 2010
Let's get physical... amphibious, even!
Today I'd like to give props to Columbia Sportswear. They are pretty much the only mainstream sportswear company out there to be producing plus sizes, other than trusty ol' Lands End, LL Bean and Eddie Bauer. (Honorable mention, of course, to Junonia as they are dedicated to plus-size activewear.)
I'm giving Columbia a special shout-out particularly because they make more mainstream looking stuff for plus sized ski and snowboard bunnies, and for the gals who take hiking and travel-packing more seriously. A few posts back I mentioned having purchased Columbia snowboard clothing for this coming season. It's cut generously but still has a nice semi-fitted feminine line and is NOT baggy, thank you very much. The quality is also outstanding for the price. Today I purchased a few things, mostly from their Outlet, although what I really wanted was the Sweet Slope Hoodie (in Black Cherry). Ah, another day, Hoodie... I'm hoping you and I shall meet via coupon in the immediate future.
Now that I think about it, I also have to give shouts to Lands End for their swimwear options for plus sizes. I've been wanting a more serious bathing suit to wear to water aerobics (which I've never tried, ack) because at present all I have are two fun, fashionable and upper-thigh-bulge-covering bathing suits. (Thanks to Torrid and It Figures at Macy's for those!) Lands End has several options in a range of styles, colors and prices. Also: they have both long and short sleeve rash guards, which you can't find anywhere else.
If you're wondering, this sportswear/activewear hunt comes after a week-long vacation on Catalina Island in which Honey Bunny and I were quite active. Trust me, I never thought I'd enjoy an active trip, and we certainly had no plans to make it thus... it all just kinda evolved naturally and day by day. I had a lot of mostly cute clothes for the trip and knew I was going into a hot, dusty and salt water environment. I just didn't consider the exact limitations of said clothes once we were in the kayak, on the trail, and in the water.
Having grown up fat and endured all kinds of "teasing" about being large in skimpy beach clothing, I've always opted to cover myself as much as possible but it comes with a big price tag. Good lord it takes forever to completely dry a swimdress when it's still on your body, even in the sun! Let's not forget those days when you're feeling extra self-conscious and opt to wear the t-shirt and/or cutoff shorts over your suit. And how about that bath sheet-sized beach towel, the one that actually makes it all the way around your hips and will tie there, so you can wear it to the restrooms or snack bar? You might as well use a dolly to lug that water-logged shit back to your hotel room after hanging out at the beach all day. Speaking of getting back to the hotel room: you also need a change of clothes unless your hotel is close (not the case on Catalina, at least for the good beach in Avalon or, well, anywhere you're staying in Two Harbors) or you're able to get completely dry first. I can't tell you how many times I've failed to bring a change of clothes and picked my back to the hotel with legs bowed because the combination of wetness and sand and the resulting additional chafing against the thighs sucks ass.
A few of the more interesting trails/paths we could have taken - at least on the west side of the island - would require both walking and swimming. Given that we were in Southern California during its crazy heat wave, that option was feeling very attractive... and yet, we don't possess the clothing (me) or the skills (HB) to be amphibious. I stopped while hiking at one point to peer over a small bluff down to the ocean and thought, is there an ideal outfitting for a combined land/water hike, and if so do fat women have access to it? I'm guessing a regular size person could cruise into any REI and walk out with high performance clothes and shoes for just such an occasion. Us fat ladies have to be a bit more clever and cobble it together via various online vendors.
Believe me, I don't know if I could ever make myself step foot out of a hotel room, much less my own house, dressed fully in spandex. Unfortunately I'm thinking that's what it's gonna take for a comfortable amphibious adventure in the heat. As of today, I'm digging the C9 capri-length running tights (with groovy blue swish or basic black), which cover legs enough not to chafe in the usual areas but still allow for some cooling via the length and fabric. If I got the blue tights, I'd likely choose the matching tank, or if I stuck with basic black I'd kick up the sauciness a notch with the Solar Pink Optipop version. (I'm thinking a tank would be crucial here due to reduced surface area needing to dry, and because it's cooler in the heat.) Because I'm prone to burning and rashing like a mo-fo in the sun, and - lucky me and my fair skin - also seem to be slightly allergic to sunscreen, I'd put a rash guard over top of the tank. To top... er, bottom off the ensemble, I'd choose the Outpost Hybrid shoes. I know there are a lot of good water sandal options out there but mama needs a good walking shoe that can go in water, not the other way around.
An amphibious adventure is just part of why I'm thinking this through. Honestly, the likelihood of another trip to Catalina before next summer is low. Certainly there are many other places where I could scrabble around but I do live in Northern California where both ocean and river water is crazy cold even on a warm day. I'm thinking this through for other exercise options, even just for personal training. My current closet of exercise clothing is ridiculous at best. I have one pair of capri length "real" exercise pants and a pair of bermuda shorts that I made by cutting the legs off sweatpants. My tops are all t-shirts that got tossed out of my regular wardrobe for one reason or another. They often double as pajama tops. Uh, yeah.
This is a dichotomy if there ever was one, but I'm insanely picky about my exercise wear. If something doesn't fit, feel and look exactly right, I can't buy it... hence the reason I've not gotten anything new in the past three years and why I persist in wearing unhemmed cutoff sweat pants and old stained t-shirts. So, I'm on the hunt for nicer and more performance-oriented activewear and hoping some of the above options will work out. I'll let you know if I end up leaving the house in spandex and how many shots of tequila it took to do so.
* A note on sizing for activewear: many of the options presented in this post only go up to a size 3x which I think is a damn shame. From personal experience, I do feel that both Columbia's and Land's End's size 3x is quite generous in its cut and this is reflected in many of the reviewer comments on individual products. Thankfully Junonia goes much higher than 3x and can cover just about any plus-size woman who needs activewear. (I personally don't love Junonia's cut as it is too generous and I like more fitted items, but still, I'm so glad they exist!)
I'm giving Columbia a special shout-out particularly because they make more mainstream looking stuff for plus sized ski and snowboard bunnies, and for the gals who take hiking and travel-packing more seriously. A few posts back I mentioned having purchased Columbia snowboard clothing for this coming season. It's cut generously but still has a nice semi-fitted feminine line and is NOT baggy, thank you very much. The quality is also outstanding for the price. Today I purchased a few things, mostly from their Outlet, although what I really wanted was the Sweet Slope Hoodie (in Black Cherry). Ah, another day, Hoodie... I'm hoping you and I shall meet via coupon in the immediate future.
Now that I think about it, I also have to give shouts to Lands End for their swimwear options for plus sizes. I've been wanting a more serious bathing suit to wear to water aerobics (which I've never tried, ack) because at present all I have are two fun, fashionable and upper-thigh-bulge-covering bathing suits. (Thanks to Torrid and It Figures at Macy's for those!) Lands End has several options in a range of styles, colors and prices. Also: they have both long and short sleeve rash guards, which you can't find anywhere else.
If you're wondering, this sportswear/activewear hunt comes after a week-long vacation on Catalina Island in which Honey Bunny and I were quite active. Trust me, I never thought I'd enjoy an active trip, and we certainly had no plans to make it thus... it all just kinda evolved naturally and day by day. I had a lot of mostly cute clothes for the trip and knew I was going into a hot, dusty and salt water environment. I just didn't consider the exact limitations of said clothes once we were in the kayak, on the trail, and in the water.
Having grown up fat and endured all kinds of "teasing" about being large in skimpy beach clothing, I've always opted to cover myself as much as possible but it comes with a big price tag. Good lord it takes forever to completely dry a swimdress when it's still on your body, even in the sun! Let's not forget those days when you're feeling extra self-conscious and opt to wear the t-shirt and/or cutoff shorts over your suit. And how about that bath sheet-sized beach towel, the one that actually makes it all the way around your hips and will tie there, so you can wear it to the restrooms or snack bar? You might as well use a dolly to lug that water-logged shit back to your hotel room after hanging out at the beach all day. Speaking of getting back to the hotel room: you also need a change of clothes unless your hotel is close (not the case on Catalina, at least for the good beach in Avalon or, well, anywhere you're staying in Two Harbors) or you're able to get completely dry first. I can't tell you how many times I've failed to bring a change of clothes and picked my back to the hotel with legs bowed because the combination of wetness and sand and the resulting additional chafing against the thighs sucks ass.
A few of the more interesting trails/paths we could have taken - at least on the west side of the island - would require both walking and swimming. Given that we were in Southern California during its crazy heat wave, that option was feeling very attractive... and yet, we don't possess the clothing (me) or the skills (HB) to be amphibious. I stopped while hiking at one point to peer over a small bluff down to the ocean and thought, is there an ideal outfitting for a combined land/water hike, and if so do fat women have access to it? I'm guessing a regular size person could cruise into any REI and walk out with high performance clothes and shoes for just such an occasion. Us fat ladies have to be a bit more clever and cobble it together via various online vendors.
Believe me, I don't know if I could ever make myself step foot out of a hotel room, much less my own house, dressed fully in spandex. Unfortunately I'm thinking that's what it's gonna take for a comfortable amphibious adventure in the heat. As of today, I'm digging the C9 capri-length running tights (with groovy blue swish or basic black), which cover legs enough not to chafe in the usual areas but still allow for some cooling via the length and fabric. If I got the blue tights, I'd likely choose the matching tank, or if I stuck with basic black I'd kick up the sauciness a notch with the Solar Pink Optipop version. (I'm thinking a tank would be crucial here due to reduced surface area needing to dry, and because it's cooler in the heat.) Because I'm prone to burning and rashing like a mo-fo in the sun, and - lucky me and my fair skin - also seem to be slightly allergic to sunscreen, I'd put a rash guard over top of the tank. To top... er, bottom off the ensemble, I'd choose the Outpost Hybrid shoes. I know there are a lot of good water sandal options out there but mama needs a good walking shoe that can go in water, not the other way around.
An amphibious adventure is just part of why I'm thinking this through. Honestly, the likelihood of another trip to Catalina before next summer is low. Certainly there are many other places where I could scrabble around but I do live in Northern California where both ocean and river water is crazy cold even on a warm day. I'm thinking this through for other exercise options, even just for personal training. My current closet of exercise clothing is ridiculous at best. I have one pair of capri length "real" exercise pants and a pair of bermuda shorts that I made by cutting the legs off sweatpants. My tops are all t-shirts that got tossed out of my regular wardrobe for one reason or another. They often double as pajama tops. Uh, yeah.
This is a dichotomy if there ever was one, but I'm insanely picky about my exercise wear. If something doesn't fit, feel and look exactly right, I can't buy it... hence the reason I've not gotten anything new in the past three years and why I persist in wearing unhemmed cutoff sweat pants and old stained t-shirts. So, I'm on the hunt for nicer and more performance-oriented activewear and hoping some of the above options will work out. I'll let you know if I end up leaving the house in spandex and how many shots of tequila it took to do so.
* A note on sizing for activewear: many of the options presented in this post only go up to a size 3x which I think is a damn shame. From personal experience, I do feel that both Columbia's and Land's End's size 3x is quite generous in its cut and this is reflected in many of the reviewer comments on individual products. Thankfully Junonia goes much higher than 3x and can cover just about any plus-size woman who needs activewear. (I personally don't love Junonia's cut as it is too generous and I like more fitted items, but still, I'm so glad they exist!)
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