Pigs, fat or not

My friend Koly and her theatre company just finished a local run of the new-ish Broadway play, Fat Pig. She played Helen, the lead female, the "fat pig". She was great!

Fat Pig is about Helen meeting a conservative Wall Street broker type, Tom, who is into her but has a hard time admitting it to his shallow friends. When he does, he gets the standard frat boy reaming but sticks to his guns and defends his attraction to Helen. While they're happy together, she eventually has to confront him about having never met or hung out with his friends, and about how he always wants to stay in rather than go out on the town (subtext: and be seen with her). Tom assuages her fears but shortly thereafter realizes he can't stand up to the mocking of his friends or his own ability to be okay with dating a fat chick. The final scene of the play, in which he breaks up with her at his company picnic, is meant to say that she might be a pig in body but he's a pig at heart. Helen is, of course, heart broken and breaks down in tears.

I'd heard quite a bit about the play when it first came out on Broadway, because cute-but-zaftig-no-longer Sara Rue premiered the part of Helen. In fact, if you click the above link for her IMDB profile, you'll see just how not-fat she is now. And while you're there, get a load of the Message Boards at the bottom of the page. Gotta love the first message entitled, "WOW! She got hot!" Whatever, pig. Girl looks like she's starving now. It's unfortunate because I thought she was absolutely gorgeous as a zaftig redhead.

Given all I'd heard about the play, I didn't think it would be startling. Little did I know the shock and horror would creep up on me in the days after I saw it. The more I thought about it, the more Helen reminded me of myself at a very weak point in my life, when I had a crushing crush on a coworker who would only show me attention, some of it sexual in nature, when we were alone together.

Helen is supposed to be "bright, funny and sexy". I certainly tried to be those things for my coworker crush, but felt completely adrift and worthless on the inside. I'm always suspicious of male writers writing about female characters, but doubly so here. I wondered if the author, Neil LaBute, really knew where to go with Helen. I kept thinking, "if she's so bright, funny and sexy, then why doesn't she dump his ass?" Well, for the same reason I refused to kick my coworker habit. Inside Helen is some sort of struggle between self worth and wanting to be loved, and as a human, fat or not, it's not too hard to infer that. I kinda wish LaBute would have chosen to convey that struggle rather than Helen being a sexy confident woman out of the starting gates only to metamorphize into a heartbroken mess at the finish line, with very little grey area in between.

Doesn't sound like it but I'm commending Neil LaBute and the script, actually. IMHO, good art is provacative and opaque, and has you thinking about it, decoding, well after you've encountered it. Fat Pig stands up to my definition and then some. The only reason the lack of transparency around Helen's internal struggle irks me is because it's too real. I know a lot of strong and confident women, but they aren't necessarily strong and confident in every aspect of their lives, and in most cases they fear admitting that. There's no reason Helen is any different just because she's fat. In media, fat people are often portrayed as vulnerable just by virtue of being fat, so it's actually kind of refreshing that Helen came off as armoured.

On a completely different note, I had a funny moment during the play. To my horror, Koly utilized a sundress I bought in 1997 to portray Helen in the company picnic scene. I bought it online from a former zaftig MTV VJ who had a small line of plus-size clothing, and whose name I can't remember for the life of me. (Abby something?) I coveted that dress for about a year before I could afford it. It was like $75 without shipping/handling! When the package finally arrived, I tore it open and tried on the dress... and it was the most heinous piece of crap I've put on my body to this day. The print was fierce, two little red cherries on a green stem, set against a white background. The cut was disasterous. I can't even describe it to you or else I'll go into convulsions. In fact, when I saw it on stage, I had to avert my eyes. When we greeted Koly after the show, she did the Church Lady dance and said in mocking tone, "Remember this dress?"

It's an evening, and a dress, I won't forget for a long time.

Hair powder: wow!

[Preface: I'm posting this because hair issues are universal. Or maybe I just want to shout from yet another rooftop because my enthusiam knows no boundaries.]

Omigawd, who the hell knew that hair powder actually worked? Bumble and bumble, I love you! More than usual! Which is saying a lot, actually, given that I use approximately eight of your hair products on a regular basis!

I used it for the first time this morning, when I was running too late to work to be able to condition and blow-dry effectively. It comes out in a blast so strong that I thought the stream of powder was going to bore through my scalp. Note to self: take their clever instruction of "Keep your distance! 10-12 inches at least!" seriously.

After a thorough spritz on the greasiest portions of my hair, I brushed it through and VOILA! My hair looked clean once again. In fact, maybe I will never wash my head again.

Not only does it dry cleanse, but it creates a bit 'o' volume on fine hair due to the added texture, and apparently you can also use it for "no slip updo's".

Bumble and bumble hair powder, you are my bitch lover.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.