Iconic

I saw the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest recently and just about squealed when scenes from the swampy bog, creaky house on stilts and all, were shown. Having grown up in Southern California, we went to Disneyland every couple of years and "Pirates of the Caribbean" was my favorite ride. I loved cruising through that swamp, and also the room where the two galleons were having the cannonball battle. The smell of that room was so distinct, as was the dark blue and cloudy "sky".

So, Disney has found a way to further capitalize on one of their most iconic rides. People like me will pay $10.50 to see the movie because the damn ride captured us as kids. (Orlando Bloom isn't quite reason enough to plunk down $10.50, believe me.)

At any rate, this got me thinking... who and what is iconic in the fat realm?

Two sprang to mind immediately. Cartman and his "I'm not fat, I'm big boned" is a no brainer. I'm not sure he gives fat people a good name, but at least it's a bold one.

The other one, nearer and dearer to my heart, is Divine playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. The image of Divine in Edna drag profile burned itself into my brain forever. Why? Because her clothes hang from the protruding bustline formed by that severely molded bra, and I saw myself. In 1989, I could make my best friend laugh her ass off simply by turning to profile, putting my hands on my hips, and waddling away while saying "Gosh darn that rock and roll music."

Let us not forget Tracy Turnblad, or Ricki Lake for that matter. Tracy proved that fat chicks can, and love to, dance. She landed the hot guy. She wore a large and lovely purple satin ballgown with a roach print on it, for gawd's sake. How can you not love that?

Ricki Lake, on the other hand, went the way of Oprah and had to lose weight before she felt good about herself. I will say in her defense that Jerry Springer stole the whole format from her, right down to the cheesy moralistic monologue at the end of each show, so at least she was a front-runner in something. Oprah is still struggling with her weight and self-esteem, which feels so very wasteful to me given that she's one of the most powerful and influential female voices in the US.

My Honey Bunny just named his favorite fat icon: Queen Latifa. He loves his Latifa. You know what I love about her? She's never made an issue out of her size or weight. I adored her as Mama Morton in Chicago. How can you not love that vast plateau of breasts during the "When You're Good to Mama" scene?

If we're talking boobs, we can't forget Aretha Franklin.

Hey, Monica Lewinsky... why not? (Thanks, HB)

Fat Albert.

Missy Elliot? (but she got the operation)

I could do a whole separate post on "what" is iconic in fat land. Geez, where do I even start on that one? TAB soda maybe.

*Phat Girlz*, Part 2

So I saw Phat Girlz last night, and it was definitely enjoyable. I hadn't realized that it was a low budget production, or that it was shot on digital video rather than film... and those things made me like it more, actually. It lended a sadness to the story that would've been missed if it were a sparklingly clean and expensive production.

Of course there's a happy ending - no surprise there - but I was glad (and somewhat surprised) to see and feel those "sad" qualitites during the majority of the film. Being fat is, afterall, complicated. Sometimes you feel like a diva and sometimes you feel like you're unlovable, and Mo'Nique did a great job of conveying that conflict in her role.

It's by no means a terrific or perfect movie. I just love that Mo'Nique decided to tackle the issue, and no matter how corny the ending gets - "Plus-Size Revolution Takes World By Storm!" - it's a sweet fantasy to have.

Mail order frustration

Is it just me or does mail ordering clothes totally suck? Stuff can look so good on catalog models but in person it looks like shit. I'm assuming this may is the case for thin people as well as thick. It doesn't really matter what size you are... if the clothes are badly made, then it's not going to look good, period. Well, except on catalog models because someone has clipped and pinned the crap out of the clothing to make it look tailored and crisp when it would otherwise look like an oversized misshapen gunny sack hanging on a "plus size" model's frame.

...which brings me to my next point. Why would a catalog selling plus-size clothing use thin models? Sorry, Silhouettes, but you really are one of the worst offenders here.

I just bought the boot-cut jeans from Silhouettes, actually. I thought, Why not? Couldn't be any worse than Lane Bryant. Oh yes it could be. They were so weirdly loose in the thighs, I looked like I should be a backup dancer for MC Hammer circa 1990. U can't touch this! I sent them back the next day. And lost the $7.95 I paid in shipping originally, plus paid almost the same to have it shipped back. I paid $14.95 to try on the equivalent of old-fashioned riding jodphurs and spend 20 minutes in line at the post office. Sweet.

And for the record, Lane Bryant's jeans really are the best jeans going these days. I'm sorry to have doubted you, oh mighty clothing chain!

For my birthday last week, I thought I'd buy myself a pretty little dress from Alight.com that I've had my eye on for awhile. I even paid for expedited shipping so it'd be here in time for me to wear to my party. Please know that the real deal looked NOTHING like the catalog picture. The waistline was about twice the size as the rest of the dress, and I still don't understand why that is. And the length of the dress is about two feet longer than you'd judge by the photo. So - again, back to the post office to wait in line with 15 other grumpy people and this time my toll for misguided mail order shopping was $28.00.

(By the way, if you took note of the Blue Plate clothing line when you checked out Alight.com - be sure to order 2 sizes bigger than you normally wear. It took two failed orders to learn that lesson for myself. Their stuff is cute as hell, I'll give 'em that... but they need to re-size their clothing line.)

Boy, the sad thing is that I could just keep going on and on. I've ordered stuff from pretty much every store listed on the sidebar at right, and 99% of the time it hasn't worked out. The only thing I've ever ordered that was successful were cork wedge sandals in wide width from Easy Spirit. Shoes are always our savior though, right?