Every so often, I get into what Honey Bunny (lovingly) refers to as "steam roller" mode, or what my mom (sigh!) used to call "being a crab apple". Now would be one of those times.
It seems everyone in my path isn't smart enough, fast enough, thorough enough, savvy enough, and so on and so forth. And good lord, why oh WHY does the woman in the cube across from me droopily shuffle around the hallways all day long, stopping and droopily talking to people who so obviously don't want to interface with her for 10 seconds, let alone 10 minutes, about such fascinating topics as the next union luncheon and why handling printer toner cartridges can be bad for your health?
In other words, why can't everyone be like ME??
I'm kind of kidding, of course, and yet... kind of not. Right now it feels like I'm running in full efficiency mode where I can see potential problems coming down the pipeline from a mile away and I address them with frightening determination and resolve. It's uncharacteristic for me to be so out-there about my opinions, and thus, solutions to problems. I generally get pegged as the indecisive one, for fuck's sake! Surely this is a bi-product of having had to slowly tighten the screws on the two people I supervise, and do so in the most mindful, strategic (and sure, okay, slightly Machiavellian) way possible.
It's also, I'm guessing, a bi-product of having read so much Candace Bushnell recently, and specifically Lipstick Jungle. Believe me, I don't at all fancy myself a high powered business woman. If anything, it just underscores the fact that I have really horrible boundaries when it comes to characters in books, and particularly those that I've been following through several books or, say, an accompanying TV show. I see parts of these characters' lives in mine, and vice versa. Creepy, I know. And yet, that's what I consider a satisfying book read. It's the only way to explain that I've read all 12 Gossip Girl books, and con mucho gusto. And maybe all the It Girl books too, but you didn't hear that from me...
Anyhow, back to stupid people. Ahem... I mean, my attitude problem. It's a crazy thing to be in this head space. On one hand, I feel like I'm really high-functioning, but on the other, I think it's quite off-putting to, ehm, pretty much everyone in my personal life - including my hubbie. Why should I, at 7am when we are preparing our breakfasts, be pestering Honey Bunny about the best, freshest, most nutritious dinner that he could prepare for us that night after work? Nice.
I need to back it off a bit and chill out, clearly. A curtain to draw across my cube opening would be a good idea as well. Possibly some noise-cancelling headphones, and we're good to go! And at home, I need to ixnay on the advice-giving and just enjoy my husband and my life for what it is. Sheesh!
