I'd resigned myself to one night stands with guys who were too drunk to care that I was fat. I'd resigned myself to crushes on guys who flirted with the idea of being with me but in the end were too concerned about friends and families opinions about fat people. I'd resigned myself to never having a true boyfriend or lover, ever.
Then one day, I resigned myself to opening up my own narrow scope of guys who were acceptable (ie. thin-as-rail hipsters) because I realized I was being kinda hypocritical. I ended up going out with a guy who was fat, but of course he was also a hipster because "that's my thing". It ended in disaster and thus, I had to resign myself to the fact that hipsters are devils disguised in chunky-framed glasses and Adidas Gazelles. Hipster dudes are only interested in having fat girl best friends, trust me. [And besides, unless you're diligently hip yourself, buying vinyl instead of CDs, spending all your money on Death Cab for Cutie shows and vodka, only reading books by Dave Eggers and Jonathan Safran Foer, things never turn out well with a hipster, no matter what size you are.]
About six months later, I resigned myself to posting a personal ad on Craigslist which announced my fatness rather than down-played it, thinking that this would bring an onslaught of hater emails and probably nothing more. Requisite "who you trying to fool, bitch" emails aside, there was more. A lot of guys answered, all of whom knew exactly what the word "zaftig" meant. I met my current Honey Bunny of two years from this very ad! Up until that point, I honestly had no idea that there are dudes out there that actually prefer the zaftig lady. I honestly had no idea that a guy could love me without thinking, "she needs to lose some weight."
The dating world sucks no matter what your size and sexual orientation is. As a former roommate once told me, "you gotta pad your ego, cut your losses, and just keep moving forward." Don't accept anything less than spending some fun time with a person who is truly interested in you for who you are inside and out. Don't let anyone tear down your ego just because s/he has been conditioned to reject people based on their size. Don't be afraid to end a date or relationship if the person is treating you badly.
If I can do it, you can do it!
1 comment:
i've found the same kind of man who accepts me for who i am, and actually loves me just the way i am, too! i'm glad i have found your blog, and happy you have found a true prince.. it's great to know that there are others just like me out there :)
Post a Comment