I saw the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest recently and just about squealed when scenes from the swampy bog, creaky house on stilts and all, were shown. Having grown up in Southern California, we went to Disneyland every couple of years and "Pirates of the Caribbean" was my favorite ride. I loved cruising through that swamp, and also the room where the two galleons were having the cannonball battle. The smell of that room was so distinct, as was the dark blue and cloudy "sky".
So, Disney has found a way to further capitalize on one of their most iconic rides. People like me will pay $10.50 to see the movie because the damn ride captured us as kids. (Orlando Bloom isn't quite reason enough to plunk down $10.50, believe me.)
At any rate, this got me thinking... who and what is iconic in the fat realm?
Two sprang to mind immediately. Cartman and his "I'm not fat, I'm big boned" is a no brainer. I'm not sure he gives fat people a good name, but at least it's a bold one.
The other one, nearer and dearer to my heart, is Divine playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. The image of Divine in Edna drag profile burned itself into my brain forever. Why? Because her clothes hang from the protruding bustline formed by that severely molded bra, and I saw myself. In 1989, I could make my best friend laugh her ass off simply by turning to profile, putting my hands on my hips, and waddling away while saying "Gosh darn that rock and roll music."
Let us not forget Tracy Turnblad, or Ricki Lake for that matter. Tracy proved that fat chicks can, and love to, dance. She landed the hot guy. She wore a large and lovely purple satin ballgown with a roach print on it, for gawd's sake. How can you not love that?
Ricki Lake, on the other hand, went the way of Oprah and had to lose weight before she felt good about herself. I will say in her defense that Jerry Springer stole the whole format from her, right down to the cheesy moralistic monologue at the end of each show, so at least she was a front-runner in something. Oprah is still struggling with her weight and self-esteem, which feels so very wasteful to me given that she's one of the most powerful and influential female voices in the US.
My Honey Bunny just named his favorite fat icon: Queen Latifa. He loves his Latifa. You know what I love about her? She's never made an issue out of her size or weight. I adored her as Mama Morton in Chicago. How can you not love that vast plateau of breasts during the "When You're Good to Mama" scene?
If we're talking boobs, we can't forget Aretha Franklin.
Hey, Monica Lewinsky... why not? (Thanks, HB)
Fat Albert.
Missy Elliot? (but she got the operation)
I could do a whole separate post on "what" is iconic in fat land. Geez, where do I even start on that one? TAB soda maybe.
25 April 2006
14 April 2006
*Phat Girlz*, Part 2
So I saw Phat Girlz last night, and it was definitely enjoyable. I hadn't realized that it was a low budget production, or that it was shot on digital video rather than film... and those things made me like it more, actually. It lended a sadness to the story that would've been missed if it were a sparklingly clean and expensive production.
Of course there's a happy ending - no surprise there - but I was glad (and somewhat surprised) to see and feel those "sad" qualitites during the majority of the film. Being fat is, afterall, complicated. Sometimes you feel like a diva and sometimes you feel like you're unlovable, and Mo'Nique did a great job of conveying that conflict in her role.
It's by no means a terrific or perfect movie. I just love that Mo'Nique decided to tackle the issue, and no matter how corny the ending gets - "Plus-Size Revolution Takes World By Storm!" - it's a sweet fantasy to have.
Of course there's a happy ending - no surprise there - but I was glad (and somewhat surprised) to see and feel those "sad" qualitites during the majority of the film. Being fat is, afterall, complicated. Sometimes you feel like a diva and sometimes you feel like you're unlovable, and Mo'Nique did a great job of conveying that conflict in her role.
It's by no means a terrific or perfect movie. I just love that Mo'Nique decided to tackle the issue, and no matter how corny the ending gets - "Plus-Size Revolution Takes World By Storm!" - it's a sweet fantasy to have.
11 April 2006
Mail order frustration
Is it just me or does mail ordering clothes totally suck? Stuff can look so good on catalog models but in person it looks like shit. I'm assuming this may is the case for thin people as well as thick. It doesn't really matter what size you are... if the clothes are badly made, then it's not going to look good, period. Well, except on catalog models because someone has clipped and pinned the crap out of the clothing to make it look tailored and crisp when it would otherwise look like an oversized misshapen gunny sack hanging on a "plus size" model's frame.
...which brings me to my next point. Why would a catalog selling plus-size clothing use thin models? Sorry, Silhouettes, but you really are one of the worst offenders here.
I just bought the boot-cut jeans from Silhouettes, actually. I thought, Why not? Couldn't be any worse than Lane Bryant. Oh yes it could be. They were so weirdly loose in the thighs, I looked like I should be a backup dancer for MC Hammer circa 1990. U can't touch this! I sent them back the next day. And lost the $7.95 I paid in shipping originally, plus paid almost the same to have it shipped back. I paid $14.95 to try on the equivalent of old-fashioned riding jodphurs and spend 20 minutes in line at the post office. Sweet.
And for the record, Lane Bryant's jeans really are the best jeans going these days. I'm sorry to have doubted you, oh mighty clothing chain!
For my birthday last week, I thought I'd buy myself a pretty little dress from Alight.com that I've had my eye on for awhile. I even paid for expedited shipping so it'd be here in time for me to wear to my party. Please know that the real deal looked NOTHING like the catalog picture. The waistline was about twice the size as the rest of the dress, and I still don't understand why that is. And the length of the dress is about two feet longer than you'd judge by the photo. So - again, back to the post office to wait in line with 15 other grumpy people and this time my toll for misguided mail order shopping was $28.00.
(By the way, if you took note of the Blue Plate clothing line when you checked out Alight.com - be sure to order 2 sizes bigger than you normally wear. It took two failed orders to learn that lesson for myself. Their stuff is cute as hell, I'll give 'em that... but they need to re-size their clothing line.)
Boy, the sad thing is that I could just keep going on and on. I've ordered stuff from pretty much every store listed on the sidebar at right, and 99% of the time it hasn't worked out. The only thing I've ever ordered that was successful were cork wedge sandals in wide width from Easy Spirit. Shoes are always our savior though, right?
...which brings me to my next point. Why would a catalog selling plus-size clothing use thin models? Sorry, Silhouettes, but you really are one of the worst offenders here.
I just bought the boot-cut jeans from Silhouettes, actually. I thought, Why not? Couldn't be any worse than Lane Bryant. Oh yes it could be. They were so weirdly loose in the thighs, I looked like I should be a backup dancer for MC Hammer circa 1990. U can't touch this! I sent them back the next day. And lost the $7.95 I paid in shipping originally, plus paid almost the same to have it shipped back. I paid $14.95 to try on the equivalent of old-fashioned riding jodphurs and spend 20 minutes in line at the post office. Sweet.
And for the record, Lane Bryant's jeans really are the best jeans going these days. I'm sorry to have doubted you, oh mighty clothing chain!
For my birthday last week, I thought I'd buy myself a pretty little dress from Alight.com that I've had my eye on for awhile. I even paid for expedited shipping so it'd be here in time for me to wear to my party. Please know that the real deal looked NOTHING like the catalog picture. The waistline was about twice the size as the rest of the dress, and I still don't understand why that is. And the length of the dress is about two feet longer than you'd judge by the photo. So - again, back to the post office to wait in line with 15 other grumpy people and this time my toll for misguided mail order shopping was $28.00.
(By the way, if you took note of the Blue Plate clothing line when you checked out Alight.com - be sure to order 2 sizes bigger than you normally wear. It took two failed orders to learn that lesson for myself. Their stuff is cute as hell, I'll give 'em that... but they need to re-size their clothing line.)
Boy, the sad thing is that I could just keep going on and on. I've ordered stuff from pretty much every store listed on the sidebar at right, and 99% of the time it hasn't worked out. The only thing I've ever ordered that was successful were cork wedge sandals in wide width from Easy Spirit. Shoes are always our savior though, right?
26 March 2006
I heart fat girl lit
Jennifer Weiner is such a fun writer. If you haven't read (or seen) In Her Shoes or read any of Jennifer's other work, I highly recommend it. Good in Bed will always be a classic for me. ("Shouts" to any of you who remember the first chapter of Good in Bed being published in Mode magazine!) Jennifer's blog, SnarkSpot, is bookmarked on my browser, and I check it out every few days - although it seems she's become a busy little bee in the past year and writes pretty infrequently. But when she does, it's a good time had by all.
Did anyone see her in the April issue of Glamour magazine? It was within an article called "What It's Like..." where various women weigh in on what their lives are like. For instance, "...to Become Famous as Jessica Simpson's Assistant", ie. Cacee Cobb. Jennifer Weiner's was, "...to be Plus Sized on the Red Carpet", in reference to her experience with In Her Shoes.
I've also been reading Liza Palmer's blog lately. Parts of Conversations with the Fat Girl hit so close to home, I practically shriveled in my own skin while reading.
My friend Theresa gave me Jane Green's novel, Bookends, for my birthday last year. I had read a cast-off copy of Jemima J a couple of years ago and really hated it. (Jennifer Weiner didn't like it either. I was at one of her book signings and someone asked her what "chick lit" books she didn't like. She said, and I'm paraphrasing, "I won't name names, but it rhymes with 'Fafima Fey'.") But, I read Bookends despite my hesitation and ended up liking it quite a bit.
There's lots of other good and/or fun fat girl fare out there. People have always told me I should read Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone, so I'm just about to embark on it. Hopefully it won't be too painful, but something tells me it's going to be.
Did anyone see her in the April issue of Glamour magazine? It was within an article called "What It's Like..." where various women weigh in on what their lives are like. For instance, "...to Become Famous as Jessica Simpson's Assistant", ie. Cacee Cobb. Jennifer Weiner's was, "...to be Plus Sized on the Red Carpet", in reference to her experience with In Her Shoes.
I've also been reading Liza Palmer's blog lately. Parts of Conversations with the Fat Girl hit so close to home, I practically shriveled in my own skin while reading.
My friend Theresa gave me Jane Green's novel, Bookends, for my birthday last year. I had read a cast-off copy of Jemima J a couple of years ago and really hated it. (Jennifer Weiner didn't like it either. I was at one of her book signings and someone asked her what "chick lit" books she didn't like. She said, and I'm paraphrasing, "I won't name names, but it rhymes with 'Fafima Fey'.") But, I read Bookends despite my hesitation and ended up liking it quite a bit.
There's lots of other good and/or fun fat girl fare out there. People have always told me I should read Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone, so I'm just about to embark on it. Hopefully it won't be too painful, but something tells me it's going to be.
10 March 2006
Getting raw
I lost all my links because I changed the color of my blog. And all because someone told me, "Um, it's very PINK." You'd think a 33 year old woman would know to take comments preceded by "Um..." with a large grain of salt. UMMMM's are supposed to be funny, I guess. They're really just personal opinions with a pinch of criticism and belittlement.
I don't know if it's a fat thing (because I've been fat for literally 30 years now and don't know any other life), but I'm a very sensitive person and I can take things personally. It fluctuates. Sometimes I feel very strong and other people's opinions and criticisms roll off me like water off a duck's back. Other times, however...
My coworker, who is a very direct and blunt woman, once told me, "Nothing is personal. People act from their own experiences and for themselves." Which, granted, is very true. Need I even point out that my coworker telling me this was a product of confronting her about her communication style (which I perceived as condescending)?
I bring it up on this blog (the blog that I was trying to keep "light") because for me it directly relates to how vulnerable I'm feeling in my body. I feel pretty disconnected from it these days. I feel like a brain floating around in a badly-permed head, and the rest of me doesn't matter so much.
There's a deep childhood connection. I'm pretty sure I hated my body until recent years (consider this a shout-out to my [ex]therapist). I'm also pretty sure I learned that hatred from others, especially family. Anyone who grew up fat knows how much attention and criticism you get as a result of your body. When it comes directly from the people who are supposed to love and care for you, then the message is pretty darn mixed: I love you but I can also criticize you. Or worse: The way I love you is to criticize you, or, I reject you because of how you look. That shit can really wear you down to a raw nothing over the years. When you're a kid growing up, how are you supposed to know that the criticism you're receiving is not about you, but is instead about the criticizer's insecurities? Or that a concern for your health is "just" expressing itself as criticism?
This rawness I feel about my body right now is a familiar feeling. The familiar conclusion is that those around me are pointing their criticism at me because they notice my body and must comment on it. Afterall, if I'm thinking it about myself then I basically become a self-fulfilling prophesy. My childhood reaction was to retreat and be invisible. My adult reaction is to lash out, which is nominally better. At least I take care of myself enough to defend myself, even if it's from a phantom.
I'm not an Oprah fan, but two of her more successful weight-loss attempts conjure in my head as I'm writing. First, "making the connection". I've always assumed she meant "between mind and body", and I've always rejected that idea because it sounds like weight loss industry dogma. But sure, I'll admit maybe there's some truth in it.
The other Oprah sentiment is about working on and from your "core". I'm sure she thought she was being very clever with her double entendre meaning doing Pilates but also centering oneself. But again, I get it.
I think what I'm talking about is deeper than that, though. You can have a strong mind-body connection and a solid core, but if you get knocked off balance then it's pretty hard to apply those things. (Oprah herself was knocked off balance, many times!) Perhaps I'm speaking more to triggers... or in my case it feels like a domino-effect of triggers. Setting that shit back up again is really hard work and for me it always seems unfair in some way. I didn't put my body hatred there, so why should I have to fix it? Nevertheless, I do and I will.
On a last note, I'll have the links back up and running gradually. I welcome any suggestions for links and/or new link "genres" so write me if you got 'em.
ps. It's thundering and hailing like a mo-fo outside right now! What am I, in Texas?
I don't know if it's a fat thing (because I've been fat for literally 30 years now and don't know any other life), but I'm a very sensitive person and I can take things personally. It fluctuates. Sometimes I feel very strong and other people's opinions and criticisms roll off me like water off a duck's back. Other times, however...
My coworker, who is a very direct and blunt woman, once told me, "Nothing is personal. People act from their own experiences and for themselves." Which, granted, is very true. Need I even point out that my coworker telling me this was a product of confronting her about her communication style (which I perceived as condescending)?
I bring it up on this blog (the blog that I was trying to keep "light") because for me it directly relates to how vulnerable I'm feeling in my body. I feel pretty disconnected from it these days. I feel like a brain floating around in a badly-permed head, and the rest of me doesn't matter so much.
There's a deep childhood connection. I'm pretty sure I hated my body until recent years (consider this a shout-out to my [ex]therapist). I'm also pretty sure I learned that hatred from others, especially family. Anyone who grew up fat knows how much attention and criticism you get as a result of your body. When it comes directly from the people who are supposed to love and care for you, then the message is pretty darn mixed: I love you but I can also criticize you. Or worse: The way I love you is to criticize you, or, I reject you because of how you look. That shit can really wear you down to a raw nothing over the years. When you're a kid growing up, how are you supposed to know that the criticism you're receiving is not about you, but is instead about the criticizer's insecurities? Or that a concern for your health is "just" expressing itself as criticism?
This rawness I feel about my body right now is a familiar feeling. The familiar conclusion is that those around me are pointing their criticism at me because they notice my body and must comment on it. Afterall, if I'm thinking it about myself then I basically become a self-fulfilling prophesy. My childhood reaction was to retreat and be invisible. My adult reaction is to lash out, which is nominally better. At least I take care of myself enough to defend myself, even if it's from a phantom.
I'm not an Oprah fan, but two of her more successful weight-loss attempts conjure in my head as I'm writing. First, "making the connection". I've always assumed she meant "between mind and body", and I've always rejected that idea because it sounds like weight loss industry dogma. But sure, I'll admit maybe there's some truth in it.
The other Oprah sentiment is about working on and from your "core". I'm sure she thought she was being very clever with her double entendre meaning doing Pilates but also centering oneself. But again, I get it.
I think what I'm talking about is deeper than that, though. You can have a strong mind-body connection and a solid core, but if you get knocked off balance then it's pretty hard to apply those things. (Oprah herself was knocked off balance, many times!) Perhaps I'm speaking more to triggers... or in my case it feels like a domino-effect of triggers. Setting that shit back up again is really hard work and for me it always seems unfair in some way. I didn't put my body hatred there, so why should I have to fix it? Nevertheless, I do and I will.
On a last note, I'll have the links back up and running gradually. I welcome any suggestions for links and/or new link "genres" so write me if you got 'em.
ps. It's thundering and hailing like a mo-fo outside right now! What am I, in Texas?
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