Countdown to Hawaii

I'll be heading over to Hawaii in January for the first time in my life, which I should be totally happy about and yet I'm having major anxiety.

First, there's the plane seat. The longest flight I've ever been on was an hour and a half, and that's only because the plane couldn't land at its scheduled 50-minute mark due to fog. For an hour and a half, I'm willing to plant my ass into a too-narrow seat and scrunch my shoulders and arms together so I don't impinge on my fellow or sister passenger. And mind you, this is in a window or aisle seat, where there's just one person to inconvenience due to my fat. The flight to HI is 5 hours on a huge jet with 11 seats across and whereas I could view this through pollyanna eyes... "that means there's the possibility of not just 2, but 4 aisle seats!"... I just don't. It's not me. I'm scared I'm gonna get seated dead center in the dreaded 5-seat mid-section. And did I mention that I get motion sick if I can't see out a window?

Next up we have the very reason we're going: my boyfriend's father. He moved to HI last summer, and the family is decending en masse to visit them. He's a retired surgeon and a senior citizen, which means he eats the equivalent of an apple for lunch and a small salmon steak for dinner and that's it. He's never said anything to me about my weight, but I'm pretty sure he's said something to Honey Bunny. When we're at the dinner table, he'll offer all the men seconds but never ask the women. I'm not about to blame my weight for the fact that he barely talks to me in general, but I'll admit I get suspicious at times.

We're sharing a large vacation home with HB's brother and his family, which is the part I AM looking forward to. HB's Bro & Family are all really sweet and, unlike my own family, understand the concept of needing some space. As in, the space I might need to take when they decide it's time to hike HI's equivalent of the Grand Canyon. You see, Bro and his son are in great shape and are avid hikers. Bro's wife and daughter aren't really athletic types but they generally go along for the ride. HB used to be an avid hiker (before he met me - eeek!) but loves the outdoors enough to suck it up.

Let me preface by saying that I never wanted to live the Bridget Jones cliche... and yet, here I am. On November 15th I said, "I'm going to start going to the gym every day until Hawaii so I'm fit enough to keep up with everyone else." Thanksgiving came and went. On November 30th I said, "Tomorrow is December 1st and I will start walking on the treadmill at the gym everyday until Hawaii." It's now December 9th and I've yet to step a toe in the gym's front door.

I am freaking out! I'm not going to be able to keep up with anyone. My body hates humidity... I'm probably going to pass out from that alone, not to mention doing any strenuous walking. Honey Bunny keeps saying not to make any pie-in-the-sky promises to myself about losing weight or getting fit before HI. I'm wondering if I'll even make it to the gym ONCE before HI.

Hawaii should be paradise, but I feel like I'm walking the plank.