Outspoken and radical

Six months ago I joined a Health At Every Size (HAES) group on Facebook, and just now left it. I decided I can no longer stand the way the moderator or group members jump down the throats of any members that post "diet-y" stuff, or stuff that could be considered a "trigger". Really, I felt like, as a member, I needed to exist quietly in a nice, neat box labeled "fat is right, never question it".

To me, fat can be right but it's not always right and it's not always wrong, either. There exist many shades of grey where fat is concerned. Those with a BMI over 30 are considered obese, regardless of current state of health or family histories. I believe those things should help guide our decision making when we're fat because not everyone who is considered fat, overweight and/or obese is "unhealthy", and not everyone who has a BMI under 30 is "healthy". Sometimes thin people think they are fat. Sometimes fat people think they're fatter than they really are. Sometimes fat people genuinely like the way they look. Sometimes they decide that, after looking at factual evidence AND/OR guided by intuition, their risk for disease is too high and they want to exercise or lose weight to help mitigate the risk. Sometimes thin people do this too.

The point is that everyone gets to decide for themselves in a culture where "deciding for yourself" isn't tolerated if your outsides are perceived as fat. I thought the point of anti-bias work and HAES was to challenge and confront bias that exists on a larger scale, not to berate individuals who actually self-identify as anti-bias supporters. The latter, to me, represents the worst of "group": a membership that makes outspoken and radical response the norm without an ounce of restraint or reflection, without any wiggle room for being challenged.

And, yes, as usual I'm being hyperbolic but you see... "group" is a trigger for me.

I left the group with a Wall post saying that the moderator might consider a more neutral approach than threatening expulsion in response to a member's "too diet-y" or "trigger inducing" posts, and also might consider listing posting guidelines and group norms in the "About Us" section. I also said that I chose to leave voluntarily because the group is more outspoken and radical about issues of fat than I'm personally comfortable with, and that I wished everyone the best. The moderator responded almost immediately with, "Oh really?"

And that is that. I'm glad to have moved on.